herk227 ([info]herk227) wrote,
@ 2008-04-14 13:29:00
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Current location:Freakhausen
Current mood: depressed
Current music:cowgirl in the sand
Entry tags:job, life sucks

2³ * 251 sucks
Well I thought this year would be going to be better than the last few . . .

Big Laugh everyone.

My life still sucks - more so than ever. I had the chance of a new job on a short notice. I took it, because - well my job life didn't have any kind of perspective. It started on April 1st, which meant I had to leave some people hanging on pretty short notice. I called off other job interviews, because well I thought I had found a place . . .

Now I'm unemployed again :(  Didn't even took me two weeks to get pink slipped and I think the main reason was:

I suck as a person (or something the like) or that I wasn't allowed to make mistakes although it was an apprenticeship.

Now I'll have to try to get together the pieces of my former life and rescue what there is to rescue. I can certainly forget the other jobs I applied for because I told job interviews off with 'I've found someplace else' and I still haven't got any perspective . . .

Not one tiny little shimmer of hope on the love front either (which  would at least be a bit of a balance.)

My roomies and friends try to help but honestly . . .

I'm turning 30 this year and I get the feeling, that I'm a total failure, because I only dabble in things never get to be REALLY good in anything and no one pays your bills for being a nice, well educated person who is mediocre in a lot of things :'''(

Spent the whole weekend sulking and began to do the necessary bureaucratic shit today.

I don't even know why I'm writing this because I don't even think that anyone reads this blog (Not that I can blame them with all the infrequent updates :( )


(Post a new comment)


[info]quazonic
2008-04-14 02:06 pm UTC (link)
*cough* I did see you come up on my friend's page, but I never thought it was my place to comment.

*HUG*

You don't suck as a person. You're brilliant already by getting things together and actually looking for a job (something which I find I'm too lazy to do).

Besides, job offers come up all the time, and unless you're picky you should be fine. Just keep trying. :)

(And I know that was rather crap advice/comfort even by MY standards, but I blame it on being just past 12 and I really, really want to sleep or I'll burn out by Wednesday.)

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]herk227
2008-04-14 09:59 pm UTC (link)
Ohh a hug, just what I needed.

Thank you :)

And all words of comfort are appreciated, because it shows people care.

And your math problems help, too, because they not only take my mind of my problem, but by giving me the feeling that I'm actually good at something. Solving them gives me a warm feeling of achievement and success plus I like helping people.

So all my <3 to you, sleep well and maybe I'll see you in your linear algebra again :)

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]renbyrnes
2008-04-14 05:10 pm UTC (link)
Hi there...You're on my flist, though I'm not sure how exactly we met. But after reading this, I felt the need to comment (hope you don't mind).

One thing that's very important to remember in all of this is that You Are Not Alone. I'm 33 right now and experienced some of the same things this year. I'm back living at home and was unemployed for six months before finding a job. I know it's hard, but try to keep your spirits up. And remember that there's no shame in accepting help...or asking for it for that matter. Are you in the US? I have some job boards that I tried when I was out of work that might be of help to you. Let me know if you want me to send them to you.

Edited at 2008-04-14 05:10 pm UTC

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]herk227
2008-04-14 09:51 pm UTC (link)
Of course I don't mind comments.

I'm a litte attention whore after all ;)

Thanks for the kind words and the nice offer of help.

I'm not living in the US but in Germany. We've got a pretty good social system and I won't be starving, so don't worry. It's just that I got the feeling that I need a direction in my life and am definitely lacking it.

Well after doing some phone calls I'm back to my old job at tutoring students for now, but that's nothing you can live of (at least you can't pay for health insurance, which is necessary by law and so I'll have to take money from the social network of the state. Which I absolutely HATE)

At least they're glad to have me back, I'm looking forward to see the students and my colleagues again and I'll have time to think of something.

So life doesn't seem as bad now as it did during the weekend and this morning.

A little RPG with friends and some good old fashioned Heroes of Might and Magic III helped to take my mind of it for a while and then back online I find encouraging words from you nice people :)

I guess life isn't all that bad.

Thanks again for commenting.


By the way: I think I stumbled upon your lj via teaspoon or maybe through following a comment you made in another lj, which I found intelligent/interesting.

At least that's how I usually find friends here.

And then I cooment on their ljs (unasked ---how rude of me ;))

(Reply to this) (Parent)

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